Birth Family Connections

Meeting 7: Helping Children With Birth Family Connections

Did you know that there is an Indian Child Welfare Act?  I thought that was very interesting.  There is a long explanation for it in our information packets, but basically the Native American tribes have there own governmental system.  If anyone were to ever observe the abuse or neglect of an Indian child, the Indian tribe would be notified and they would be able to handle the issue with their own laws.  The only time the US government can intervene is if they see that the issue is really not being handled or handled effectively.  The Native American tribes are protected and are basically their own country within ours. 

*In child welfare, "openness" is a term to describe the degree to which an adopted child continues to be connected to his or her family of origin. 

*The level of openness is a parental decision, based upon the needs of the child.  Adoptive parents consider the child's identity, culture, well-being, and safety needs in order to determine the level of openness most appropriate for the child. 

*Levels of openness include:

-Providing children with information about their family origin.

-Letters and photos exchanged between parents and adoptive parents through the child-placing agency.

-Giving children photos and letters from their parents and/or extended family members. 

-Letters between children and their parents and/or extended family members

-Sharing holidays with parents and/or extended family members

-Regular visits with parents and/or extended family members

-Ongoing shared parenting with parents and/or extended family members, much as other extended family members share parenting responsibilities. 

*Purpose of Visits:  Visits between children in placement and their biological families serve four major purposes.

1.  Reassurance to the child and family:

*Children know they have not been abandoned

*Families know the agency wants them to reconnect with their child

*Parents and child know that each other are well

*Continuity of relationships is preserved

*Psychological well-being is promoted

2.  Assessment of reunification capacity and progress:

*Workers can assess parent's and child's willingness to reconnect, the strengths that can make reunion possible, and the family problems that can impede reunification.

*Workers can use visiting experiences to help parents identify family goals that need to be met in order for the reconnection to be maintained.

*Workers can alter the visiting plan to reflect family and child progress and needs

*Workers can identify the need for informal and formal resources

*The extent to which foster parents can serve as a resource to parents will be recognized

 *Workers can see parent's and children's needs for additional help

3. Intervention:

-Parents and children can confront reality, recognizing what it really means to be reunited.

-Families can identify and test out their optimal degree of reconnection

-The timing of actual reunification can be carefully considered

-Parents and children can express and work through their feelings toward each other

4.  Documentation:

-Recommendations and plans can be supported or changed through accurate recording of visiting experiences.

-Credibility of court testimony can be enhanced

-Parents can be provided with feedback regarding their progress

Things That Make Visits Difficult:

-Arranging visits can be time consuming and complicated

-Last-minute changes mean a lot of wasted time

-Observing family distress can be emotionally depleting

-Concerns about the impact of one's decision making on a child's safety can be overwhelming.

-The threat of family violence can make workers and foster/adoptive parents feel personally vulnerable

-A lack of agency support for visiting can produce stress

Types of Activities Children and Families Can Do During Visits

Older Children:

-Clothes Shopping

-Food Preparation

-Medical Appointments

-Taking a Walk

-Class Trips

-Household Tasks

-Haircut Appointments

-School Conferences

Younger Children:

-Free Play

-Stories

-Arts and Crafts

Ways Foster/Adoptive Parents Can Improve Family Visits

-Plan visits with birth parent's needs and resources in mind

-Allow visits to take place in their homes

-Look for, point out, and enhance birth parent's strengths

-Help children work through their feelings following visits

-Taking photographs of child with birth family at the beginning of placement (can later be included in child's Life Book)

Things Foster/Adoptive Parents Should Communicate to the Worker About Visits

-Awkwardness

-A crying child who can't be comforted

-A parent who is angry

-A parent who has been drinking or is high on drugs

-Sadness when the visit is over

Ways Foster/Adoptive Parents and Workers Can Help Prepare Children For Visits

-Be sure to inform them of about everyday ordinary details like where and when lunch will be eaten, who will be there, etc.

-Use references that are meaningful to the child like "You will be back in time to watch Sesame Street."

-Address any concerns a child may have about personal safety. (I will be with you, or just in the next room during the whole visit."

-Help children to identify how they might feel once they are together with the family members.  

-Elicit the child's fantasy of what visiting with the family will be like.  Correct any misinformation and respond to feelings.  ("Only Mom will come this time.  Dad will be coming next time.")

-Children can be helped be being given permission to demonstrate to family members the ways in which they have changed and grown during placement.  This can ease a sense of divided loyalty between parents and foster parents.  "Let's be sure to talk with Mom about how well you can read now."  

Lesson #8:  When fostering, keep a notebook or journal from day #1.  Document EVERYTHING that happens to see changes or pattens in the child's behaviors and present any needed information to the case workers (or possibly a judge).