Meetings five and six were both about the children's behaviors and different parenting styles. Sometimes things are generalized, when I believe there is no set formula for parenting (or teaching). Rather, every child is unique and requires an individualized method of parenting/teaching. Still the information packets taught us a lot.
-There are two "parenting styles" or approaches to discipline:
1. Proactive Parenting
*Builds a safe, trusting relationship by frequently staying close.
*Focuses on appropriate behaviors and positive consequences
*Looks for what the child is doing right and provides positive consequences for that behavior rather than forcing compliance.
*Withholds positive consequences for "not doing" rather than providing extra negative consequences.
2. Reactive Parenting:
*Corrodes your relationship
*Focuses on inappropriate behavior and giving negative consequences.
*Looks for what the child is doing wrong and tries to get rid of that behavior through coercion or punishment.
*Sees inappropriate behavior as a chance to forcefully "teach the child a lesson" so the child fears the consequences and stops doing the behavior.
*Forgets to pay attention to what the child is doing right.
*Waits for the bad behavior and reacts to it rather than having a plan.
*Allows your own bad experiences and resulting bad mood to control your parenting.
*Uses coercion: questioning, arguing, sarcasm, force, threat, criticism, despair, and logic (which I happen to be a fan of ).
Examples of Positive Methods of Punishment:
*Reinforcing acceptable behavior, honest praise, special privileges and treats, extra hugs and kisses, additional time spent with the child, and stickers on behavioral charts.
*Verbal disapproval of the child's behavior, never the child.
*Loss of privileges
*Time Out/Grounding
*Redirecting the child's activity
The Cycle of Need:
NEED (underlying conditions)------>EXPRESSION (behavior)------>INTERVENTION (proactive parenting)----->RELAXATION (healthy self-concept)----->BACK TO A NEED
Lesson #7: It's important to provide stability and love. These are reflected through consistent rules, methods of discipline, and patience. The "Need Cycle" continues in every child.
Throughout the course we've been working on a "Family Profile". This is a collection of information about us and our families. Early on we completed information forms regarding our education, health, families, and jobs. Later we received an email with a list of other items to collect and add to our Family Profile. These items include:
-Employment Verification Forms (1 per person)
-Medical Clearance Forms
-2 Neighbor Reference Forms
-3 Personal Reference Forms (not relatives)
-Picture ID, SS Card, Birth Certificate or Passport
-Copy of Floor Plan of Current Home with Evacuation Route
-Animal Vaccinations
-Car Insurance (with names of all drivers)
-MAPP Training Certificate
-Fingerprints through the Children's Home Society
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